Kimen til det smadrede liv

Posted bykro 69 kommentarer til Kimen til det smadrede liv

Weekendavisen den 14. april 2017.

Roman. HP har grund til at vende sin sortsyge mod Samsine i god roman af Jacob Skyggebjerg.

Jacob Skyggebjerg: Jalousi. 143 sider, 250 kr. Roman. Gladiator.

Tænk, her gik jeg rundt og troede, at jalousi var en dødssynd. Det er det ikke, har jeg opdaget (men misundelse er), det er bare en helt almindelig synd, om jeg så må sige, hvilket er interessant, fordi den jaloux person så står uden for kristendommens værste syndsregister.

At være tæret op af den gallefarvede jalousi anses altså for at være helt ok. Måske, tænker jeg, fordi misundelighed er er uværdig, selvisk følelse, mens jalousien udspringer af en forurettelse. Den jaloux er ofte et offer for troløshed.

Og netop som et offer ser hovedpersonen sig selv i Jacob Skyggebjergs nye roman. Ikke at desperadoen HP skænker syndsfilosofierne mange tanker, for han har rigeligt at se til med sin voldsomme – og ikke ubegrundede – jalousi, men det er alligevel påfaldende, at den følelse, som vi omtaler som ”en grim ting” er gået fri af kirkens klassifikationssystem over synder.

I Jacob Skyggebjergs nye roman, der slet og ret hedder Jalousi, møder vi den 30-årige HP og hans kæreste, den noget yngre Samsine. De lever i kaos med stoffer, tyveri, humbug og vold, men også med oprigtig kærlighed og hengivenhed. At forholdet bryder sammen under en følelsesmæssig insolvens, ved vi allerede fra romanens åbning, der består af en mail fra Samsine. I emnefeltet skriver hun: Jeg er ked af det. Herefter veksles mellem en bitter mailudveksling mellem de forhenværende kærester og skildringer af tiden før syndefaldet.

Jalousi er inddelt i to dele. Første del hedder ”Eufori”, og det ved vi jo godt, hvad er: lykke, velvære, begejstring. Anden del hedder ”Dysfori”, euforiens modsætning, som ifølge Encyklopædien betegner en ”kortvarig forstemthed af timers til dages varighed, præget af tristhed, koncentrationsbesvær, nedsat energi samt anspændthed, irritabilitet og sårbarhed med let vakt vredesudbrud”.

Jeg forstår, og accepterer vel også, denne opdeling af sindstilstande, men alligevel virker det, især det dysforiske, som en lovlig fiks idé. HP’s dysfori er næppe kun en ”kortvarig forstemthed”, men en psykisk invaliderende sortsyge (svenskernes svartsjuga er et perfekt ord), fordi hans elskede har svigtet ham.

At han selv banker Samsine, opfatter han ikke som noget svigt. Men naturligvis er volden et vendepunkt, virkelig godt beskrevet på denne måde: ”Det betyder noget, da det første slag falder. Det er som en atombombesprængning, det jævner alt omkring sig med jorden og efterlader et krater, et ufrugtbart område, hvor alt det, der var før, for evigt er lavet om. Livet muterer i det ufrugtbare område.”

HP hedder sandsynligvis Hans-Peter, men hedder Samsine noget andet, end Samsine (navnet optræder ikke på listen over de små 20.000 godkendte danske pigenavne)? Det underlige, dukkeagtige navn er vellykket og velplaceret til denne sårbare pige, der er omgærdet af sådan en uheldsvanger undergangsstemning – som det hedder om hende i romanens begyndelse: ”Hun drages af det smadrede liv – eller: Hun har kimen til det smadrede liv i sig”.

Jacob Skyggebjergs debut, Vor tids helt, var en omgang rigtig vellykket beskidt socialrealisme (”transskriberet virkelighed”, kaldte forfatteren det selv). Nummer to, Hvad mener du med vi, var et komplet mislykket forsøg på at skrive satire. Med Jalousi er forfatterskabet heldigvis tilbage i mere trygge rammer, hvor Jacob Skyggebjergs stil og sprog hører hjemme, nemlig i den rå storbyrealisme, hvor en fortabt ungdom af small time crooks og misbrugere hutler sig igennem de udsigtsløse dage. Romanen vil gerne have, at vi ser HP og Samsine som en slags Bonnie & Clyde. Jeg tænker nu mere på Othello og Desdemona, jalousien taget i betragtning. Men her er ingen Jago, HP er ikke paranoid, han går til grunde ad gode grunde, det er måske voldsmandens straf. Det smadrede liv, med andre ord. Som sådan er Jalousi en god, trøstesløs og bitter forfaldsfortælling uden antydningen af optimisme.

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