Juliane Preisler: Ariél

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Anmeldelse i Weekendavisen den 22. november 2013.

Eksistens. Juliane Preislers rørende roman om en dreng, der prøver at skubbe verden på plads.

Ham selv og hans hænder

Ariél – med overdrevent, frankofilt tryk på sidste stavelse – cykler hver dag gennem snedriverne for at bringe pakker ud til særlinge bag opgangenes lukkede døre. Bagefter tager han hjem til sin ensomme mor, der drikker for meget rødvin, stolper rundt på alt for høje hæle og forgæves prøver at sætte hår og bøje øjenvipper i en dekadent og desperat kamp imod sin alder.

Ariél har fået sit franske navn, fordi hans mor har denne romantiske faible for sproget, som hun underviser i. Hvad man ikke er, kan man jo fantasere og fiktionalisere frem, måske gennem et navn, måske gennem en selviscenesættelse, ikke mindst ved at søge efter en mand, der kan udfylde den indvendige tomhed. Moren har således en idé om, at det ikke er for sent at få et barn.

En dag møder Ariél den jævnaldrende Rosa. De gik i skole med hinanden, men talte aldrig sammen, og han kan ikke huske hendes navn. Han husker hende som fraværende, hun husker ham som mærkelig: “Du sad altid og fægtede med dine hænder, og jeg tænkte en del på hvad du gjorde med dem, hænderne. Fangede sommerfugle, måske? Der ikke var der. Fangede du sommerfugle der ikke var der?”, spørger Rosa. “Måske”, svarer Ariél.

Sagen er, at Ariél fægtede med hænderne for at skabe orden i kaos. Da hans far forsvandt, begyndte moren at farve sit hår i desperate farver, og ind i mellem gjorde hun ting med piller, tændstikker og knive, som skræmte drengen fra vid og sans. Derfor drømte han om at opfinde et system, der skulle skabe orden i alt, og han begyndte at mærke alt omkring sig, folks følelser, bladene der faldt af træerne og sprang ud igen, solen der skinnede eller forsvandt bag en sky.

Den hypersensitive Ariél mærkede alt for at få styr på det hele og for at kontrollere kaos, og han bruger stadig sine flagrende hænder til at skubbe verden på plads. Han har en evne, mener han, til at hjælpe folk, som det er synd for, ved at fjerndirigere dem med sine hænder.

Rosa bor alene med sin far, som Ariél bor alene med sin mor. Han vil gerne tættere ind på livet af den tavse og uudgrundeligt reserverede pige, men det er svært at nærme sig. Hvis nu bare hans mor var som en mor skal være, så kunne han tale med hende om det alt sammen:

“Om Rosa og hendes øjne og det der findes indeni hende der ikke skulle være der. Og om ham selv og hans hænder og det indeni ham der måske heller ikke skulle være der, men som bare er der og gør alting besværligt. Og om at han ingen vegne kommer, altså lige nu op ad trappen, trin for besværeligt trin, men ellers ikke, han tror virkelig altid han kommer til at gå med pakker og ikke andet end det. Til sine dages ende, og det er måske endda snart for han tror ikke at han bliver særlig gammel, det tror han bare ikke. Og det er måske godt det samme.”

Bagsideteksten siger, at Ariél foregår i “et sørgmuntert, virkelighedsnært univers, der kunne ligne en storby”. Sandt nok, bortset fra at jeg har mere end svært ved at få øje på det muntre i ‘sørgmunter’. Til gengæld træder det sørgmodige klart frem i denne navn- og hjerteløse by, hvor der hersker en småabsurd og sært-spooky resignationsstemning blandt alle de forvildede sjæle.

Juliane Preislers tankeudfordrende roman handler om rodløshed og identitetstvivl. Byen og menneskene, der omringer den stigmatiserede pakkeudbringer, synes inspireret af af de tidligere 60’eres symbolstærke modernistiske eksistensabsurdisme, og den er decideret bevægende i sit portræt af sendebuddet Ariél, der føler sig bundet til at hjælpe og forløse alle dem, som det er synd for, ikke mindst den tragiske fallent af en mor – men hvem hjælper egentlig ham?

Et fradrag i bedømmelsen af den blidt rørende og skarpt registrerende roman, er længden. Ariél er redundant repeterende, fordi tilværelsen er det (går jeg ud fra), op ad trapper, ned ad trapper, i evige, rutinemæssige gennemspilninger, der ikke bare fortvivler hovedpersonen, men også udmatter læseren. Juliane Preislers stilsikre prosa ville sagtens kunne bære flere fravalg, og en strammere scenisk klarhed ville understøtte romanens fine filosofiske pointe.

Juliane Preisler: Ariél. 326 sider, 299 kroner. Roman. Tiderne Skifter.

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